The List of Things You Should Know If You Are Considering A Long-term Relationship With Me

My parents have been pestering me on marriage for some time now. Their stand being you find yourself a mate, or we'll find someone for you. It has got to a point where they are threatening to take unilateral action. Viz. putting an online posting about me on a matchmaking portal. Now, this makes me wonder what would constitute fair disclosure. Since my parents are the ones who will be doing the posting, they are likely to carry some perceptions that they have of me, that I haven't got around to correcting yet. So I thought to compile The List of Things You Should Know If You Are Considering A Long-term Relationship With Me:

• I drink, I prefer Scotch.
• I don't smoke. I used to, I quit many years ago.
• I am lactose intolerant.
• I have chronic trouble with my stomach, makes me very leery about food.
• I am allergic to dust, pollen and react poorly to sudden temperature changes.
• I am prone to severe headaches.
• I have decided that if I lose a significant amount of hair, I'll shave my head.
• I want to keep a dog. A German Shepherd. And I will.
• I find it impossible to stay awake in the passenger seat of a car.
• At some point, I may quit my job and jump into something new. At this point, I really don't know what.
• I am easily distracted and easily bored. Not just with the small things.
• I really doubt it I am 'stable' or 'settled' in the conventional sense, I still crave for change. I still want to live in different parts of the world, for example.
• An unchanging status quo makes me lethargic, slows me down, puts me to sleep.
• I appear to have only two modes - hyperkinetic, or knocked out.
• I am ambivalent about having children. I am doubtful if I have the knowledge, patience, inclination or skill to take on such a responsibility.
• I think I have poor memory.
• I can not stand cricket. It is advertizing masquerading for sport. If you like cricket, well, you're wrong.
• I idolize Lance Armstrong.
• I can not stand mainstream Hindi cinema.
• I can not stand mainstream Hindi fim music.
• I have little or no appreciation of the 'oldies' in Hindi film music, to me they just sound like poor production values and screechy voices.
• I am agnostic. I do not believe in organized religion. I do not believe in the caste sytem. I do not believe in horoscopes and the rest of it. I'd rather believe in Harry Potter.
• I can wax on. If you want a longer list, you know where to find me.